Fundoo Jokes --- the laughter world ha ha ha..

Short, funny jokes....

2008-01-26T05:47:00.000-08:00

How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psycho path.

How do you get holy water? Boil the hell out of it.

What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall? "Dam!"

What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long? Polaroids.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese.

What do you call Santa's helpers? Subordinate Clauses.

What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand? Quatro sinko.

What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck.

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have big fingers

Why don't blind people like to sky dive? Because it scares the hell out of the dog.

What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic? Sanka.

Why does a pilgrim's pants always fall down?

Because they wear their belt buckle on their hat.

What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?

A bad golfer goes, WHACK! "Damn." A bad skydiver goes, "Damn." WHACK!

What do you call a man with a car on his head? Jack

What do you call skydiving lawyers? Skeet.

What goes clop, clop, clop, bang, bang, clop clop clop? An Amish drive-by shooting.

What happened to the lawyer who was thrown out of a saloon?
He was disbarred.

What do you call a lawyer whose gone bad?
Senator.

A priest, a rabbi, and a lawyer walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this a joke?"

Mathematicians

2008-01-26T05:46:00.000-08:00

A Mathematician, a Biologist and a Physicist are sitting in a street cafe
watching people going in and coming out of the house on the other side of
the street.
First they see two people going into the house. Time passes. After a while
they notice three persons coming out of the house.
The Physicist: "The measurement wasn't accurate.".
The Biologists conclusion: "They have reproduced".
The Mathematician: "If now exactly 1 person enters the house then it will
be empty again."
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A mathematician is asked to design a table. He first designs a table with
no legs. Then he designs a table with infinitely many legs. The rest of
the cases are of course trivial.
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An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are shown a pasture with a
herd of sheep, and told to put them inside the smallest possible amount of
fence. The engineer is first. He herds the sheep into a circle and then
puts the fence around them, declaring, "A circle will use the least fence
for a given area, so this is the best solution." The physicist is next.
She creates a circular fence of infinite radius around the sheep, and then
draws the fence tight around the herd, declaring, "This will give the
smallest circular fence around the herd." The mathematician is last.
After giving the problem a little thought, he puts a small fence around
himself and then declares, "I define myself to be on the outside and the
sheeps to be on the inside!"
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An chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an iland when
a can of food rools ashore. The chemist and the physicist comes up with
many ingenious ways to open the can. Then suddenly the mathematician gets
a bright idea: "Assume we have a can opener ..."
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A graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with
that?"

Relationship

2008-01-04T05:40:00.000-08:00

0 to 200 in 6 seconds
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.